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A Big Ball of Friggin Awesome

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(no subject) [Nov. 2nd, 2005|02:14 pm]
A Big Ball of Friggin Awesome
Alright so we're already at the hump day of another week. I feel crappy, I developed a wicked head cold and sickness overnight, so hopefully that can subside for the weekend. I have a massive btmm test on friday that counts for 1/4 of my entire grade for the semester. I've been a little stressed out with school and some other problems as of late. I want to be able to shake them off... and sometimes I can.

I guess this is just one of those days that no matter how green your side of the fence is, you just want to vent and feel like crap.
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The Truth Is... I Don't Stand a Chance [Oct. 27th, 2005|04:25 pm]
A Big Ball of Friggin Awesome
[mood |crazy]
[music |Weezer/ JEW Mix]

A few quick things to touch on:

- I decided to make an ongoing list of awesome quotes from this year.

- Playoff soccer game at 8:00 tonight, freezing cold? I think so.

- I've been listening to a lot of Weezer and Jimmy Eat World lately and I don't know why

- Rittenhouse Square + Ben and Sam + Pumpkin Flavored Coffee = Badass

- Going to conference with my English Professor on my memoir next week, should be exciting, because he either loved it, or didn't like it at all... hard to say right now

- Saw II tomorrow, along with Football Game, and Homecoming Weekend... how exciting

Oh by the way:

Happy Anniversary Sweetheart
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(no subject) [Oct. 26th, 2005|02:05 pm]
A Big Ball of Friggin Awesome
[mood |accomplished]
[music |JEW - Work]

My BTMM class got cancelled for Friday, which means I now have nothing to do all day Friday... which feels amazing. I might go home early in the morning, depending on the SEPTA strike situation and how the influences their schedules... we'll see.

Anywho, I registered for my classes last night at about 1:00, got into pretty much everything I wanted. The Intro to Broadcast Performance was completely filled, so I substitued Intro to Radio, which sounds like an amazing course also. Here's what Brett's springtime looks like:

10:40 - 12:30 Mass Media and Society
1:40 - 3:30 Physics: Matter and Motion

8:10 - 10:00 Intro to Radio
1:10- 2:30 Intellectual Heritage (Honors)

8:40-10:30 Intro to Radio
10:40 - 12:30 Mass Media and Society
1:40 - 3:30 Physics: Matter and Motion

1:10 - 2:30 Intellectual Heritage (Honors)


It may only be 4 classes, but the credit hours come out to 15.0, which is just as many as I have this semester. Wednesdays will be kinda crappy, but it is well worth it considering that my week ends at 2:30 on Thursday! That's beautiful.

Now for the rest of the day, I think I'm going to go explore the city a little bit, get some reading done, and catch up with the lady.

Pray for good weather tomorrow: I have a soccer game and it's gonna be cold by 8:00 p.m. so the rain wouldn't be a good thing on top of that.

This feeling of independence and self-reliability makes you feel amazing, especially in a city like this.
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You Know... Stuff [Oct. 24th, 2005|04:53 pm]
A Big Ball of Friggin Awesome
[mood |Swell]
[music |Weezer- We're All on Drugs]

- As cold and irritating as it may seem, rainy nights in the city are awesome to be apart of.

- I feel like I'm cheating everyone else around me in the sense that I see people freaking out everywhere over tests, papers, etc., and I have very little to work on. I mean, I do have homework, but not enough to freak out and go on suicide watch for.

- Next semester looks like I'll have fridays off, which will dominate.

- After making fun of people that would go back into PV to randomly walk around and harass teachers, I find myself with a big craving to do it.

- I would be 1,000,000 times happier if I had an apartment with people that didn't suck.

- As much bullshit as Mike Lavin takes, ultimately, I think he's a good kid and a really reliable person.

- Playoff soccer game on Thursday, it'll be cold as hell, if hell was as cold as it was hot... err... god damnit
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If Everything Could Ever Feel This Real Forever... [Oct. 20th, 2005|09:44 pm]
A Big Ball of Friggin Awesome
[mood |wicked awesome]
[music |The Format]

Everything has been amazing lately. There is not a single reason in the world for me to feel anything but fantastic.

Yesterday I went on a tour of Philly with Sam, Lisa, and Avalon. We went to the Gallery, Reading Terminal, Avenue of the Arts, City Hall, Rittenhouse Square, and it was awesome. It has been beautiful outside, just the right amount of crisp fall air and sunshine.

I finished my English memoir, a ten page narration of my life experiences, if anyone wants to read it, feel free to IM me or something... maybe you'll get a kick out of it, who knows. Either way, I'm proud of my work. The same can be said for my most recent photoshop project, which I think came out very nicely, plus, it's done a week in advance.

Tomorrow I go home for a nice weekend to relax and see my family, friends, and ALIX! I miss her very much during the weeks, but she's always there for me when I come home. I don't know where I would be without her, so if you're reading this (and I bet you are) I love you so much for going day by day with me during this tricky time.

Sorry kids, no angst or sadness from this guy. Not for a long time.
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(no subject) [Sep. 28th, 2005|11:35 pm]
A Big Ball of Friggin Awesome
[mood |Honestly trying my best]
[music |Street Dogs- You Alone]

So the last few hours of today have put me in a shitty disposition. It's that "helpless" feeling where you have no influence on anything going on around you and you finally realize this to its fullest potential when things are going on all around you that are really irritating and depressing.

For the most part, I love who I am. I'm glad that I'm caring, compassionate, emotional, and understanding. I think that I am truly a genuinely great person that can be counted on no matter what the situation is. I make sure that I'm never a jackass that freaks out whenever I have a bad day or when I think I'm getting shafted on something. Being the passive agressive person that I am doesn't help me cope though...

There are so many downsides to being that permissive person. You get walked on, abused, and treated like garbage. Maybe the people directly/indirectly influencing this know what they are doing, but either way they figure "oh but brett is so understanding and such a good guy, he won't have a problem, he won't say anything, im sure things like this roll off of his back like water to a duck."

Got news for ya. Just because the mouth stays shut doesn't mean that the boy is content. I'm a very envious, emotionally charged person and sometimes even though something is bothering me, I'll stay quiet because I know that my problems will eventually subside. Even if it hurts for the first little bit.
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Putting off a paper. [Sep. 26th, 2005|11:06 am]
A Big Ball of Friggin Awesome
[mood |weird]
[music |oasis- a bell will ring]

I learned a lot this weekend about a lot of different people. Some very good, some bad. I guess you need to see people in a variety of lights before you can truly figure out who they are.

We move into the new house this coming weekend, how much we'll be moving at a time is uncertain, but it will be exciting nonetheless.

My ipod is finally fixed and is finally playing everything that's loaded onto it.

So the weekend started off on a few bad notes, but in the end, everything was worth it. I'm glad Alix enjoyed the gift I got her and I could not be happier with where we are.

So once again I count down the minutes until I get to be back in the quiet little suburbia that I know and love.
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Holla! [Sep. 18th, 2005|11:22 pm]
A Big Ball of Friggin Awesome
[mood |awake]
[music |Paul O.]

Not to sound like a complete stoner, hippie, freak or anything...

but I have to pat myself on the back for buying the newest Paul Oakenfold cd(s), it is a good time.

....now all I need to do is get my ipod and itunes to not suck at life.
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"College Knowledge" (Jabbies) [Sep. 13th, 2005|01:29 am]
A Big Ball of Friggin Awesome
[mood |cynical]
[music |Nada]

You know something... the more and more I go through my days I realize the futility of daily life, especially where I am now. The worst feeling I have right this second is that it feels like I am completely wasting my time, like my only purpose is to stay upbeat and content enough to jump around from highlight to highlight, from my daily routine here to something that may stick out and bear some fruit down the road, whether it's a holiday, a concert, or a weekend at home. Everyone else around me is in awe of the "independence" and "freedom" of college, how fucking sweet it is.... right? Well... if you ask me, people are just putting up blinders as they travel from one set of drunken binges to the next, trying to both consciously and subconsciously tell themselves that everything is so sweet, going to parties, maybe or maybe not knowing where you wake up the next morning... a bunch of people trying to have some kind of tangible ties to "community" here, beit a club or like I said, set of drinking buddies. Call it some sort of screwed up existentialist bullcrap, but it seems like the big pink elephant in the middle of collegiate life is "hey, everything we are apart of is superficial, but let's pretend that everyone belongs to something more than just a semi-furnished prison cell with other equally imprisoned people"

Not to run the cliche of school = prison into the ground, but I can't help but feel entrapped at a school where honestly, you cannot stray on foot off of campus without having some sort of fear for your safety. So when you confine yourself to your dorm after dark, where absolutley no privacy takes place, how are you supposed to keep some peace of mind?

This is not at all to say that I'm not trying to branch out and meet people. Fuck no. That couldn't be further from the truth. I've met quite a few people and I'm joining several thing to occupy my time. But I'll do myself and everyone around me a favor and see the forest for the trees. The people that I occasionally grab lunch with, we joke around, bullshit, and shoot the breeze together, but that isn't the beginning of some amazing life long comraderie or friendship. As soon as a better deal comes up, I will be replaced by someone else to divert attention away from that same pink elephant.

Now I know that my entries since the beginning of school here have been melancholy at best and a lot of this may just be from the fact that I have an incredibly hard time letting go, but I do believe that a lot of my observations hold a lot of truth even if it does have an intentional slant to it. People like Ben, Sam, and his roomates will hopefully change my mind about a lot of this at some point. I have had a few good, enjoyable days here, but I have discovered that where I belong, at least for right now, isn't here. Maybe I was not meant to jump from pleasant suburban Collegeville to such a drastic change off of Broad Street in Philly.

You live, you learn. Maybe all of this will look like a retarded spouting of anger and depression in the morning. Either way, I'll keep it up here.... something to compare and contrast with in the future.
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(no subject) [Sep. 12th, 2005|04:30 pm]
A Big Ball of Friggin Awesome
[mood |awake]
[music |Green Day- Welcome to Paradise]

Dear mother,
Can you hear me whining ?
It's been three whole weeks
Since that I have left your home
This sudden fear has left me trembling
Cause now it seems that I am out here on my own
And I'm feeling so alone

Pay attention to the cracked streets
And the broken homes
Some call it slums
Some call it nice
I want to take you through a wasteland I like to call my home
Welcome to paradise
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